About Unwritten

Everyone tells you to “surround yourself with good people.” It sounds simple until you realise it’s not just about who’s in the room; it’s about who you let close enough to leave a mark.

There was a time when I didn’t think twice about it. Friends were friends, colleagues were colleagues, and proximity alone felt like reason enough to keep them close. If we crossed paths often, it meant we were connected ..or so I thought. That thinking bled into other choices, too. Once, I let loneliness and curiosity talk me into a one-two night stand with someone I already knew wasn’t good for me. It was all surface charm, no substance.. the kind of encounter that leaves you feeling emptier than before, like you’ve just traded a piece of yourself for nothing of value.

That night wasn’t about sex, not really. It was about who I allowed into my orbit ..even briefly.. and how that reflected the way I valued myself at the time. Because here’s the truth: the company you keep, whether it’s for an hour, a season, or years, leaves an imprint. Some connections sharpen you, pull you higher, make you think better and live better. Others no matter how exciting in the moment chip away at you, feeding the parts of you that thrive on drama, validation, or distraction.

Growth-driven relationships aren’t always easy, but they’re clean. You leave feeling lighter, clearer, more yourself. Toxic ones, whether they last a night or a decade, take more than they give.

Sometimes the people you outgrow or the encounters you regret aren’t villains. They’re just not aligned with the person you want to be. And keeping them in your life, or giving them access to you, is like planting weeds in your own garden and expecting roses to grow.

That’s why I’m happy to stay in touch with the people I truly hope to keep the ones who leave me lighter and more myself. The rest, I let drift away, trusting that distance can be its own form of kindness.