About Unwritten

Forgiveness is one of those words people (like me lol) like to romanticize, as if it’s a soft, graceful act. But it’s brutal work. Forgiving someone means accepting that you won’t get the apology you wanted, or the closure you rehearsed a hundred times in your head.

Learning to stop replaying the same moment of betrayal, the disappointment.. the thing they said and you can’t unsay.

I’ve learned that forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you, the version of you that’s been stuck, bitter, exhausted from dragging that weight around. I’ve carried some for months. The irony is, the longer you hold on, the more it becomes yours. The pain stops belonging to the person who caused it and starts belonging to the person who keeps it alive.

But self-forgiveness? That’s harder. It’s one thing to forgive others for what they did. It’s another to forgive yourself for what you allowed and ignored. Sometimes, it’s not even a single moment you regret, it’s the person you were back then.

I’ve had to learn to be kinder to those earlier versions of myself, the one who stayed too long, who spoke too soon, who didn’t stand up for herself. She didn’t have what I know now. She did what she could with what she had. If only she knew and did.

Forgiveness isn’t a one-time act. It’s a process. Some days you think you’ve let go, and then something small like a song, a scent.. pulls the wound open again. That’s okay. Healing isn’t linear.

In the end, forgiveness isn’t about pretending it never happened. It’s about accepting that it did and choosing not to let it define what comes next.